Quotes from the 'Plex

Think I should trim the neighbor’s bush? (Scott)

Bye, Rebekah, we lust you. (J-Ra)

Am I wearing these backwards? (J-Ra)

She’s not even enjoying it. (Scott)

Might as well do a sheep. (Scott)

I’m chewing gum! (Scott)

Double the meat, double the fun. (Scott)

I just like black people hair. (Neil)

I would never fight a guy who eats souls. (Neil)

Check this out, Jason, I have to show you my material possessions. (Neil)

That’s not how I like my women. (Neil)

We do weird things to fruits. (J-Ra)

I’m going to get a knife and turn you into lesbians. (J-Ra)

There’s something missing between my legs. (J-Ra)

Neil, you smell like smoked Mexican. (Sara)

Hey, Scott, put on a tie. (Rebekah)

I didn’t peg Jason as a screamer. (Rebekah)
I didn’t peg Jason. (Steve)

I checked out two gay people today. (Scott)

Wanna meet somebody new? You might want him for a partner. (Scott)

Give me the sausage. (Scott)

I was telling my friend about my clap problem. (Amber)

Sorry I’m late. I had to take my parents back to their car and Fish and Ath. (Sara)

You’re quite white. (News Caster)

What part of your roommate were you smelling? (Steve)
Probably my butt. (Scott)

I’m the meat in this sandwich. (Sara)

I, too, am going to retire to bed. (Scott)
Two peas in a pod. (J-Ra)
I’ll pea in your pod. (Josh M.)

What’s wrong with the color of our house? I think it’s quite homely. (Neil)

I don’t know half these people! (Scott)
That’s why they’re my friends, not yours! (J-Ra)

(To Joe) Your butt’s gonna be sore. (Ryan)

Maybe I don’t want a girl…. (J-Ra)

Yeah, the toilet works, well unless you put a two-pounder in there! (Scott)

So, I smelled my anus…. (J-Ra)

It’s good to be Queen! (Scott)

It smells like hamsters in here! (Sara)

Who are all these small black people? (Christine)

If I were a girl, I’d be packing like crazy. (Scott)

I’d be eating fruits. (J-Ra)

My else is miting. (Rachel M.)

Have you ever seen toilet paper unroll itself? ‘Cause that just happened! (Scott)

Where the crap is my belt? How convenient, Scott has one. How inconvenient, he’s ridiculously skinny! (J-Ra)

I think I should try to be less awkward. You seem shorter than normal. (David C.)

I bruised his butt last night. (Brandon)

Scott likes to pull it out in class. (J-Ra)

(To Ryan) It would be nice if we were married. (Scott)

I can’t do anything about hanging teabags. (J-Ra)

I am too cultured! I watched a PBS special on Mayan culture for AN HOUR! (Scott)

Next year in The Jungle, it’ll be 4 guys and 10 nipples. (J-Ra)

Us three (pointing to J-Ra and Steve) should have a kid together. (Scott)

I need at least 10 more virgins to get me drunk. (Randy)

What are Helen's melons? (Jeopardy)

I was admiring your hole. (Courtney)
It's, uh, quite a hole. (Chris)

I'm a huge fan of "Big Balls." (Chris)

I'd love to get a long one. (J-Ra)

I'm not gonna last much longer. (J-Ra)

Please, like I'm getting any. (J-Ra)

So, the word I got was "purloin," which reminded me of "sirloin," so I picked "steal," because it reminded me of "steak." And it was right! (J-Ra)

There's a reason to marry Michelle! (Drew)

I had a dream last night that involved shooting little kids in the face at camp. Luckily, I had the gore turned off. (Drew)

If my daughter came up to me and said, "Mom, Dad." Well, Dad, obviously.... (J-Ra)

You might as well go to Texas and kiss another man on the lips. A black man! (J-Ra)

Don't smell my pants. (Steve)

Why would I go away? (Scott)
Girls are scary. (Courtney)

You have to let me freeze my sperm first. (Scott)

Picture me as a little child. (Scott)

It's raining. (Chris)
Men!?! (Pause) Pretend like I didn't sound excited when I said that. (J-Ra)